It’s been a long, hard year.
I wish I had something more positive to say about 2011. But it’s undeniably been a year I’m not sad to leave behind.
I had high hopes going into it: Freshly graduated from college, just back from my pilgrimage to the West Coast, full up with big plans and ideas. Same as many people my age, I was expecting my first year as a Certified Grown-Up to be exciting and challenging. Time to start getting recognized and rewarded for all the valuable skills I’d been assured I have.
So obviously it was a bit of a let-down when I ended up living with my parents again. My first paying job as a college graduate was cleaning the Prozac-inducing discount movie theater in my hometown, seven days a week, for $8 an hour. Not exactly the illustrious entrance to Real Life I’d imagined.
And that set the standard for the rest of 2011. Moved back to Ithaca for a high-paying restaurant job; got fired under questionable circumstances. Spent subsequent months cobbling two to three jobs together to get by. Went on food stamps.
Additionally, 2011 saw almost all of the friendships I’d developed in college — some really important relationships — either burn out or fade away. That’s been really hard in itself, and harder still without any new friendships to cover the loss: With all the mental and emotionally energy I’ve burned up trying to dig myself out, I haven’t had the wherewithal to make any new friends. I’ve spent a lot of time by myself this year.
Not that it’s all bad: Leah’s been really good for me. She made an otherwise discouraging year not only tolerable, but frequently happy. I don’t know what kind of shape I’d be in now if it weren’t for her.
And there’s definitely something to be said for some healthy adversity. All the set-backs of 2011 have given me a lot of opportunity to think seriously about the direction I want my life to go in. I’m still hammering out the details — I’ll be lucky if I get it all figured out before next New Year’s — but I’m getting there. If nothing else, it’s good to be disabused of the dewy-eyed idealism I started 2011 with.
On top of that, I’ve got some promising prospects lined up for 2012, so things are already looking a little brighter than they were twelve months ago. It’s too early to say whether I’m really out of the woods this time — but at least I can see the light through the trees. And this time I’m going to be a lot more purposeful in the steps I take. Hooray for learning the hard way.
Happy New Year, everybody. See you in 2012.
Happy New Year, Ryan! I hope that this year will be better than last. It’s nice to see that you’ve written something again
I’ve noticed that life and progress and learning don’t go in a straight line. They all go up and down. You’ve done more things right out of college than a lot of people! And what restaurant would fire YOU anyway? When I find out who they are, they’re not getting any more of MY business…. Oh, another thing I figured out in my late 40s. People who are ‘old’ are not necessarily mature. I don’t mean they’re young-at-heart – that would be lovely. Some people over 30 are still in their terrible twos. Here’s wishing you and everybody a great year. Good riddance to 2011.
I agree – it’s good to see your print again! Abby and I have been thinking about you and praying for you whenever you come to mind, so for whatever it’s worth, “you’ve got a prayer in Memphis” (and a couch too if you need it – or even want it). I know I keep saying “I’m going to send you something,” but we truly are – as soon as we can get it together enough to send.. *Please* forgive me for flaking out a bit.
By the way, don’t let your idealism die, though – the universe is sick, but someday it will be cured.. I say God will cure it and the cure has already begun
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Thanks for the comments, everybody! I’m laid up with a bad cold right now, but I should be posting some more soon. Thanks for your support!
Add me to the list of those glad to see you are posting again. And I hope your cold is better now. You are an excellent writer. I hope you are able to find “the” job that takes advantage of your talents. And don’t ever give up on your dreams and just settle for “a” job. It may take awhile but you are someone who is destined for something good and rewarding. Keep open to the adventure….
Mary Gaut (Dave Morgan’s mom)